One of my favorite speakers started his talk with the short story below
“A man went to God and asked Him to make a highway across the Atlantic so that people can drive across and also enjoy the view.
God responded that his request was very impractical and difficult to accomplish.
He asked him to make another request.
The man thought about it and asked God to help him understand women. He said he will like to know why they think and respond the way they do.”
God was silent for a while.
Then He responded how many lanes do you want on the highway? 4 or 6?”
After a good laugh, one question popped up in my mind: why do people think women are difficult to understand?
I truly cannot count the number of times I have heard people talk about this.
Not understanding women has caused pain for some, broken homes for others.
Some believe it is impossible to understand a woman.
Others think women are so complicated.
Reading this article you may even be thinking, how can anyone understand a woman?
Well, relax and let me share my thoughts with you.
- Change your mindset:
“Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you are right” – Henry Ford
The journey to understanding a woman starts with changing the way you think.
So many people believe they can’t understand a woman mainly because they have heard people say so.
Even if you have had experiences in the past that shaped your belief. Holding on to that belief is simply allowing your past to shape your future.
Think about this, you had difficulties understanding one or two women in the past, does that really mean this will always be the case?
Or better still you met two women that are amazing cooks… does this mean all women are great cooks?
Your belief shapes your reality.
Women can be understood and you can understand women too.
- Embrace the differences:
“Strength lies in differences”- Stephen Covey
Men and women are completely different, and there is so much beauty in that.
Women think differently, respond to situation differently and the list can go on.
A man and a woman can attend a wedding event, and provide different accounts of the same event.
While a man might give his account in one short sentence a woman might take a longer time describing the details of the wedding.
Embrace the difference and see the good in those differences. Instead of thinking she talks too much. Admire her for being so observant and having a sharp mind to recollect all the details.
- Understand the main influences in her life:
Every woman is unique.
She views life through different lenses.
Her life is shaped by her upbringing, relationship with her father, education, culture, beliefs and lots more.
While some women may have been raised by fathers who loved and adored them, some may have been raised by abusive fathers, others without a father at all.
All these come to play in her relationships.
Think about a woman who was raised in a caring and nurturing environment. She grows up secure and confident.
She had a father who adored her, treated her with love and respect. In her mind a standard for love has been set by her father.
She expects to be treated with love and respect and the bar can only be higher than the standard set by her father. The way she carries herself and the way she interacts with men all reflect the upbringing she has had.
A woman raised by a single mom may be very independent.
Not because she is trying to prove she does not need a man.
It may simply be because she grew up taking up responsibilities at a very young age.
Her mum works two jobs and she started taking care of her 3 siblings at a young age.
A man in her life will have to understand the factors that shaped her life, and know the lens through which she views life.
For her to allow him to do things for her, telling her directly may be necessary.
While some women may have been fortunate to have loving fathers, others may have abused by the same person they love, trust and look up to.
A woman from this upbringing may grow up thinking all men want is to abuse her or take advantage of her.
Some grow out of these abusive upbringing to become very promiscuous, living a life of pain and regret.
Never look down on a woman. You really do not know what she is going through or have been through.
Every time I think about a woman, diamonds come to mind.
Diamonds are valuable, shining and attractive.
Every woman is valuable, priceless and deserves respect.
Women are emotional beings and are greatly influenced by several life factors.
Life factors such as great home, great education and great relationships polish the diamond.
Abusive relationships, feelings of rejection and low self-esteem is simply detrimental
Understanding that women are different and also appreciating all the dynamics that shape the lens through which a woman views life is crucial to great relationship.
Understanding a woman is a product of conscious effort in the right direction.
If you set your mind to it, you can easily understand a woman
PS: These are some of my thoughts on this, leave your comments below, I look forward to reading and responding to them.