Tag Archives: loving

Bringing Out The Best in Your Child

Group Of Elementary Age children Running Outside

In the heart of every loving mom lies the question, how can I effectively bring out the best in my child? From my experience raising two daughters, I’ve discovered that most of us have what it takes to guide our children in achieving their best. Bringing out the best in your child begins with knowing your child so well you’re able to guide them in discovering their purpose in life. However, it doesn’t end there. It also includes encouraging them to live lives according to that purpose.

Over my 30 years of parenting, I’ve drawn many of my life’s mantras from the bible. A wise Proverb that articulates the heart of the matter is in chapter 22, verse 6. Train up a child in the way he should go [and in keeping with his individual gift or bent], and when he is old he will not depart from it. (Amplified Version) In other words, lead your child according to his or her bent, distinctive characteristics or “best”. How do you do this? Get to know your child. Spend time with him discovering his unique characteristics, gifts and abilities. Secondly, accept them. Don’t try to make an artist into an athlete. Don’t frustrate your child or yourself by forcing him into a career they are not suited for. Instead, encourage them to live lives according to who they are.

My children were relatively easy to nurture and guide into adulthood. Early on as babies, I recognized that my daughters were very different. Tara my oldest, is now 30 years old and is the introvert and thinker. She was a very happy baby, and an easy going toddler. When Tara was seven years old she loved to read “chapter books” and write short stories, poems, and newspaper articles. Her preference was spending time with one good friend and her family. Tara is our writer, a fourth grade elementary school teacher, wife, mom of four children, and curly girl-blogger.

Jessica, my younger daughter is 23 years old and is the extrovert and doer. She was a strong-willed toddler and was known to have a few temper tantrums. When she was three years old she wore a dress everyday to preschool, no kidding! Unlike Tara, she disliked reading and writing and preferred subjects such as math and science. Jessica had many friends and still does. As a teenager she enjoyed going out with her friends. This drove my husband crazy. He couldn’t understand why Jessica couldn’t stay in and read a book like Tara. When Jessica was ten years old she told the family she wanted to go into business and become an entrepreneur. As a result, she is now a distribution planner at a major fashion company. She is also a brand influencer and lifestyle and beauty blogger.

As you can see, my daughters have very different personalities. It was important for me as a mom to recognize their strengths and weaknesses at a young age. By doing that, I was able to guide and teach them how to embrace who they were and live lives according to their talents, abilities and purpose. To me, this is truly bringing out the best in your children.

 

Photo credits: Monkey Business

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Is Forgiveness Really Important?

motor or anchor

 

To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner  was you – Louis B Smedes”

 

 

If you have ever been hurt before you may have at one point or the other asked the question ” ..do I really have to forgive?” You may even be asking the question right now. I decided to start this post with the quote by Louis Smedes because it fully captures what unforgiveness does to the human mind. Unforgiveness literally keeps you captive, so the question you are actually asking is: ” ..should I really set myself free?”

It is very easy to hand over the control of your life to someone else, such that they control when you are happy and when you are not. Think about it: you really cannot control what people do, or can you? However,  you can control the impact of their activities on you, you can control how you respond to what they do. Just the same way you decide to pay attention or not pay attention to what people say, you can choose to forgive or not to. My goal with this post is to encourage you to forgive. Forgiveness is liberating, it is powerful and essential to a happier you. The first time may be hard but the more you forgive, the easier it becomes.

When an offense come your way, don’t brood on it, making time to think about the offense only makes the situation bigger than it is.  Instead choose to let go, unforgiveness is a burden, let go of  the burden .

I remember listening to one of my mentors describe a painful situation. She walked in on two of her very close acquaintances talking about her and tearing her apart . It was a very painful situation for her , she could not help crying.  She decided to forgive and respond to the people involved in love.  She later recounts that  the experience with her friends made her a stronger person.

No matter the situation you are faced with there is a question for you to answer: will you let go or will you hold on? Or better still , will you allow someone to keep you captive or   will you take charge of your emotions?  The situation is completely up to you, choose to forgive,  and allow love and joy to fill your heart.

 

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Pass Love On…

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If you think back, you most likely will remember a time someone reached out to you with a kind gesture that warmed your heart. Most times this gesture is unexpected and does not warrant a favor in return. We live in a world where people suffer loss, endure abuse,  live in poverty or with depression and do not know what to do. Someone you work with may even be going through a difficult situation, endeavoring to hold up strong. Wondering what you can do?  Please choose to “Pass Love On”, below are some ways to do so:

1. Be Tolerant:  An act of kindness could be as simple as tolerating someone’s “annoying”  behavior, you really do not know what they are going through. I once read a story of a man on the New York subway, it was early in the morning and every one was enjoying a quiet peaceful ride until this man and his 3 boys came on-board. The children were quite restless and their father did not make any effort to check them.  At some point, one of the passengers got tired of the noise and chaos the children were making and was about to give the father his candid opinion. He decided to start by asking where their mother was, the man took a deep breathe and responded that she died that morning and they just left the hospital. That response completely changed the other passenger’s perspective, the children were not really noisy after all. You really do not know what the person next to you, and a act of kindness might be as simple as being more accommodating.

2. Be Generous: Pass love on by extending a hand of kindness to someone in need. You can financially support a cause you believe in or engage in a sporting event to raise funds for charity. It could even be something as simple as buying a cup of coffee for someone. Make it your goal to put a smile on someone’s lips this week, you never know, you may be providing someone with a reason to live.

Though it sounds really simple choosing to enrich other people is very gratifying and transformational (it changes you to be a stronger and more compassionate person).  Make it a great week and don’t forget to pass love on!
 
Photo credit: http://passloveon.org