Tag Archives: love

3 Important Tips For Building A Blended Family

blended family

Merging families is tough work. My husband recently found himself the stepfather of two boys, and the parenting learning curve was steep for him. The US census reports that around 1300 new step-families are forming each day. If you find yourself in a blended family situation maybe some of these tips can help you out.

1. People don’t blend:

I personally am not a fan of the name “blended family”, as it implies you can throw a bunch of people together, blend them up and make a polished finished product. This is almost never true, outside of television and movies. It’s important to recognize that there may not be a perfect finished product right after the vows are spoken, because people aren’t fruit you can throw in a blender. People need time, forgiveness, and patience to learn to adapt in a new family situation.

A better analogy, one used in Ron L. Deal’s book “The Smart Step-Family” is that of a slow-cooker. A slow cooker doesn’t immediately take apart the attributes of one ingredient and put it with those of another, it allows time to mix the different flavors of the ingredients into one dish, while still retaining the separate ingredients’ own character and flavors. Let your family be individuals, celebrate them for who they are, and don’t expect them to lose that to be part of a new family.

2. Parents parent, Step-Parents support:

This may be hard to take in at first, but if parenting standards aren’t set by the biological parent of a child, then you can set yourself up for disaster. Step-parents should support the parent’s decision, even when they disagree, and disagreements should be discussed privately, to present a unified parenting team in front of kids. It’s hard to come into a parenting situation as an outsider, especially because every parent/child relationship has flaws. Remember, relationships aren’t created in a day, and parent/child relationships won’t change overnight, even if you have the best ideas on how to change them.

3. Patience is Key

As with the slow cooker analogy, patience is the key to a successful step-family. Studies show that it takes an average of 7 years for a family to hit the “honeymoon” stage most couples experience when they start out in marriage. Have realistic expectations, if your family finds that sweet spot earlier, celebrate! If not, just keep working at it, remembering that people, especially family, are always worth the wait.


Reblogged from inspiringnuggets.com

Can Love Really Last A Lifetime?

Couple or marriage in his new home

A friend told me he went to buy a tuxedo in Manhattan, New York a few years ago.

The shopkeeper asked what occasion he was shopping for. He mentioned that he was shopping for his wedding.

The man replied ” Do people still get married these days?”

Just like that man asked that question, many people wonder ” Can love really last a lifetime?’

Some even ask, ” Can I really find true love?”

My answer to both questions is  Yes!

You can find true love and love can last for a lifetime, if built on the right foundation.

Wondering how?

While there are many ways people approach this subject.

I choose to talk about the most fundamental approach.

One thing I have realized in my personal life and the lives of people I have had the opportunity to work with is that love flourishes when built on the right foundation.

The strongest foundation anyone can have is knowing the epitome of love. He embodies love, helps you to accept and love yourself the way you are as you journey to where you want to be.

Accepting love from anyone is only possible when you are in a secure place yourself.

If you are wondering who is the epitome of love? He is God’s son Jesus.

He can heal your pain of past hurt.

He can help you to accept yourself and love yourself for who you are

He can guide you to make the best relationship choice.

Life happens and when it does, He gives you the wisdom to navigate the challenges.

Wondering how to embrace God’s love?

It comes by saying a simple prayer and asking him to come into your heart.

The journey to a great relationship starts with you.

See yourself capable of loving selflessly.

See yourself as someone deserving of love

The journey starts in your mind.

As you think, so you are.

If you think you can, you will.

You can have a beautiful, flourishing relationship.

Let that believe take root in your heart.

Love who you are.

Determine to be the best you, you can possibly be.

Invest in materials that help you learn about building strong relationships.

Instead of thinking about what your partner is not doing, focus on their strength. Determine in your heart that you will add value to him/her.

The journey to a great relationship starts with you.

Your dream relationship is possible!

Start creating it now.

You can do it! Go for it!





How To Build Strong Relationships-1

Portrait Of Loving Couple In Countryside

Imagine this.

You meet two people and it is so obvious they are in love.

In your mind you are thinking , ” this is so cute, most likely they are planning their wedding.”

A few minutes later you start chatting with them, only to find out they have been married for almost 10 years  and even have children.

So what comes to mind next?

Maybe a question such as: ” How do you build lasting love relationships?” or ” How do you nurture marriage relationships”?

I remember as a young girl I used to wonder how love can last forever. I had questions on what it takes to build a strong  relationship.

Long before I got married, I started paying attention to people with admirable marriage relationship just to learn what they do differently that make their marriage beautiful. I also started feeding off materials on the subject.  One thing I have realized is that since we are all different, there is no “one size fit all” approach to relationships. However, there are general principles that cuts across the board and form the bedrock of strong relationships.

One key principle that I have learnt is TRUST.

Trust is the foundation of all successful relationships. Nothing could be more disheartening than to find out that your partner  is completely different from who you thought he/she was.

You are not perfect.

Guess what? No one is.

Love who you are, don’t try to be someone else.

Instead, work at becoming the best “you” you can possibly be. Just as you are not perfect, your partner is not perfect either. Accept him/her the way he/she is and grow together.

Look out for more tips in upcoming posts. I love to read from you. Leave your questions and comments below. Thank you


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Photo Credit: Dollarphotoclub

This article was written by Bola Olayanju & reblogged from inspirationalnuggets

4 Important Tips For Understanding People

Multi-ethnic friends at bar's balcony


We all have those people in our lives. The ones who are just really difficult to love. They might have an annoying habit that grates our nerves. Or maybe they have a negative attitude all the time, or are never respectful of our time or space. Whatever reason you have for considering that person difficult, here are a few tips on how to love them anyway.

Remember your own faults

None of us like to admit that we are probably difficult to love in some way. Maybe we have our own annoying habits that gets on other people’s nerves. We all have our “unloveable ” moments, so when you are in that situation with your difficult person, take a breath and remember that you have your own moments of difficulty.

Try to understand their back story

Everyone has a back story, no one became who they are today overnight. If your difficult person isn’t all that close to you, try to find out where they come from. Did they have a difficult childhood? Did they just go through a painful divorce? Do they suffer from a mental health condition? Knowing more about what you are dealing with can help you navigate the best way to love that person, through the difficulty.

Speak up

Sometimes people do things that annoy us, and they never know about it, because we are too polite to say anything. If someone is doing something that is disrespectful or annoying, say something. It doesn’t have to be a fight, you can lovingly say “Listen, I love spending time with you, and I need you to know that when you do ______________ (insert annoying thing here) it really makes me feel disrespected”.

Make a choice

This sounds so simple, but often we don’t make the choice to love someone. We let them earn love, by being beneficial to us in some way, however love shouldn’t have to be earned. It is a gift best freely given. So in those moments of difficulty, take a moment and decide to love them anyway. Think about it, you want to be loved through your difficulty, so choose to love your difficult person through all the mess.