Practical Parenting Tips – 1
When you join the exclusive club of Parenthood, you become a lifetime member with the code of ethics that you will always love your child unconditionally no matter what.
Although we have that part down pat as parents, we sometimes forget to implement other positive parenting practices that don’t always make us feel very loving at the time. However, these skills and practices are crucial for raising loving, well-rounded children. It’s the tough love factor.
Many times we lose the battle of saying, “No” to our children in order to keep the peace in a public tantrum situation. Other times we are so tired at the end of our day, we may just give in to their repeated requests. But, this may confuse your child in the long run, rather than help them establish clear boundaries and expected outcomes.
Here are a few tips on how to take a more balanced approach to raising loving, well-rounded children with a dash of tough love to help them grow.
It’s Ok To Say “No.”
As parents, nothing warms our hearts more than to see our children filled with happiness. However, it is also important to say, “No” to some of their requests and create clear boundaries.
Children are very smart and quickly become masters at the power struggle for what they want from you. The age-old “tantrum in the grocery store” is a prime example. Many parents give in to their child’s repeated requests to avoid the loud embarrassment of their child screaming down aisle 10, 11 and 12. But, that will only make matters worse for you next time. If you concede to their tantrum just to quiet them and avoid disapproving looks from fellow shoppers, you have now taught them that tantrums are the “tried and true” way for them to get exactly what they want from you. Moreover, the likelihood that they will have another tantrum soon is imminent.
This is where the word “tough love” comes into play. There are a few ways you can handle this situation in a loving, and effective way.
For children of age that can understand consequences: 4 and up
1) Set Expectations: Tell your child calmly before you go into the grocery store that this trip is for the items on your list only.
2) Make An Agreement Before You Go Into The Store: For example, tell your child that if you have a tantrum in the store or behave badly, we will leave immediately, and your child will not be allowed to (fill in the blank for an age appropriate punishment, such as time-out, writing sentences, taking away iPad or another toy of choice).
3) Repeat: Make sure your child repeats this agreement back to you, so you know that they understand. You are now informing your child in advance, that if they choose to have a tantrum in the store, they will also be making the choice to lose their iPad for the rest of the day. The control now is in their hands for how the situation will turn out.
3) Make The Punishment Related To The Bad Behavior: For example: If your child hits his sibling in the store, relate the punishment to his hands: “Because you used your hands for hurting, you now have to use your hands for helping. When we get home, you will have to help clean up your brother’s room.”
Hope you find these useful, look out for more tips in the next post.
Photo credit: Dollarphotoclub