How To Regain Your Confidence After Rejection

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We all have had that one big let down in our life. Whether it is a career advancement, asking someone out on a date, or sharing a new idea with someone, it stings when we feel rejected. But, many times we overlook the value in rejection. Finding the value in rejections can help you regain your confidence and allow you to keep forging forward!


Here are a few simple tips to help you see the value in rejection:



As the late Steve Jobs said, “You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backward. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future.”

Looking back in my life, I have realized what seemed like a loss or failure due to rejection always lead me to a better opportunity. For example, when I was younger I worked for a company that sold advertising. After working for the company for a few years and increasing my sales consistently, I approached my boss for a promotion. After a week of deliberation by management, I found out that they had given the promotion to another employee. I was devastated by this rejection. However, just a month later I ended up switching careers due to an opportunity in California in film and television. If I received the promotion, I would have been dedicated to my new position and would not have received this opportunity that lead me down a more authentic path as an artist. As my father always used to say, “When one door closes a better one opens.” Your rejection just may be leading you to a better opportunity.



When you first get rejected, you may feel:





-Heart Rate Increase


-Body Temperature Increase

-Unmotivated to try again



It is normal to experience these feelings after being rejected from something you were hoping to receive. But, knowing that time heals all wounds will help you to see the light at the end of the tunnel. These feelings tend to lighten after a few days and within a few weeks, you should be feeling a significant difference in your mood. Through each experience, we learn something about ourselves or others, and when this experience passes, you will be able to reflect on it and pull out the lesson it was giving you. Which leads me to my next point:





Many times we look at rejection as a failure. But failure has been given a bad name. It is through failures that we learn how to do something better. It is through failures that we gain strength and knowledge. Failure is just a step forward in the right direction. You are learning every step of the way. When you can pull out a lesson from what seemed like a failure, then you didn’t fail. This will increase your confidence and give you less anxiety during your next attempt at your goal.  Rejection and failures are opportunities to learn and gain confidence on your next attempt!



Bo Bennett, once said, “Rejection is nothing more than the necessary step in the pursuit of success.” When you prepare your plan and steps toward success, prepare for the possibility of rejection. It is a step towards your success. When you look at rejection as just part of the climb towards your goal, you won’t be so shocked when it happens. The most successful people in life know that what seems like a great success in the public was over 100 failed attempts in private. Knowing this will help keep you confident that you aren’t failing you are moving closer to succeeding.



If you got rejected, that means you are TRYING! Most people don’t even have the courage to put themselves out there and try. So, don’t be so hard on yourself. Have the confidence to know that you are courageous enough to go for what you want in life. Many people will live a life of regret because they never even tried. Be kind to yourself. You are doing more than half the people in the world, just by trying.


So the next time you put it all on the line, and someone responds back to you with a big “NO.” You just hold your head high and know that something better is around the corner, so don’t give up! Find the lesson in this rejection and apply it to your next success! Finally, if you keep moving forward, past this rejection, you won’t just be going through it, you will be growing through it!

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Jill Assalti is a proud mother of two young boys. She ran track for Florida State University for 2 years and then earned her Bachelors of Art Degree with honors at the University of South Florida. She is a Florida native, but spent her earlier years working in Miami, New York and Los Angeles as a professional actress, writer and singer. She is a graduate of The Second City Conservatory and has performed and written sketches at The Second City as well as Improv Olympic. Jill has also been part of the Screen Actors Guild (S.A.G.) and American Federation of Television Artists (A.F.T.R.A.). She has had the privilege of working with Michael J. Fox, Heather Locklear, Kevin Spacey, Danny Devito, James Gandolfini, and other inspirational artists in her career. She is currently a Motivational Speaker focusing on helping people find their “Life’s Purpose.” She also teaches “Transform Your Life Through Positive Thinking” and The Power of Thought” to name a few. Jill is a published author and tv personality in Tampa Florida. To see more of her inspirational articles and to find out more information. Please visit
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