Bringing Out the Best in People
Several years ago a friend told me that one guiding thought that helped her with her relationship was simply focusing on the positive. It sounded like a good cliché to me but I really did not think much of it. Recently, I was working with someone through a family situation and an analogy came to mind: imagine someone wearing a very lovely blouse, somewhere on the blouse there is a small stain which cannot be easily removed. If you focus on the stain and how bad it is you won’t even notice that the blouse is a lovely one, you will be consumed with the stain. If you take your eyes off the stain, look at the full blouse you will realize that the stain is negligible and in spite of the stain the blouse is still very lovely.
It’s important not spend time thinking on people’s flaws but instead focus on their strengths. Everyone has something unique and precious about them, focusing on those qualities is an important step to building lasting relationships. Take time to think about desirable qualities in your friends, spouses or significant other, you can even make a list and think about it. This somewhat simple step will help you appreciate the people you have in your life and also bring out the best in them.