All posts by Sara Galyon

About Sara Galyon

Sara is a writer, youth minister, wife, mother and underfunded world traveler. She has two boys, a fellow youth minister husband, and a passion for sharing ways that just might make someone’s life better.

Practical Tips On Getting The Love and Respect You Deserve

 

All of us want to be loved, to have that warm fuzzy wonderful feeling when you know you love someone and that person loves you too. As good as love is, we also want respect, from our friends, coworkers, family, and others who say they love us but don’t always show it in a very respectful way.

Oftentimes we settle for people’s actions that are not only less than loving, but less than respectful. We settle because we are afraid that loneliness will be worse than being disrespected. We don’t have to settle though, we can, and should take steps in our lives to get the love and respect we deserve.

Love and Respect Yourself: This may seem so obvious you are wondering why you would even keep reading this, am I right?

Well that may be, but hang on with me for a second. While this seems obvious, do we do it? No, this is the main reason we settle for people’s actions that disrespect us, because we disrespect ourselves.

Find out what your strengths are, and take some time each day to meditate on those strengths.

Literally count your blessings, love the version of yourself you are right now in this moment. Not the version you will be when you get that new job, lose 10 pounds, or find the right life partner.

If we know we are worth loving, than we can be more open and receptive to love and respect from others, and more willing to stand up for ourselves when we are disrespected.

Love and Respect others: Isn’t it easier to love and respect someone who is a loving and respectful person? Of course it is, because people feed off of that positive energy. If you are a person who struggles with showing love or respect, start small. Try one thing a week that can begin showing respect or love to someone else. Maybe its as simple as thanking the person who brings your mail, or making genuine conversation with the person serving your coffee. As with a lot of things in life, you get what you give, so if love and respect are what you want, give as much as you can.

Speak Up: One of the reasons many of us feel undervalued, or disrespected, is because we never tell anyone we feel this way. If you need your significant other to start pitching in around the house more often, say it. If you need your roommate to stop borrowing your stuff without asking, say it. We need to be vocal about our needs, especially because we are all individual, and our needs are all different. My need to have my husband tell me he loves me is different from my friend’s need to have her husband wash the dishes.

People can’t be expected to read our minds, be upfront about what you need. Also, a note about nagging, repeatedly being vocal about what you need is not nagging, but being obnoxious about it is not helpful. You can gently, but firmly remind people who you need to feel loved and respected, and you can keep reminding them, because if they don’t get the hint then it might be time for tip number.

Learn to let go: The unfortunate fact of life is that not everyone will return all of that love and respect you are pouring into the universe. There will be bosses who never appreciate all of the extra hours you work, or significant others who manipulate and abuse.

Let those people go.

Start looking for a new job, or distance yourself from those who will never love or respect you.

It’s okay to remove yourself from forces in your life that are unhealthy, and you don’t have to do it alone.

Enlist the help of family, best friends, or mental health professionals to help you make a plan of how to move on from situations that cause you to feel disrespected and unloved.

The result won’t be instantaneous love and respect from the universe, but you’ll make great strides towards loving and respecting yourself!

Photo credits: Donna| Dollarphotoclub.

This article was reblogged from inspiringnuggets.com

4 Important Tips For Understanding People

Multi-ethnic friends at bar's balcony

We all have those people in our lives. The ones who are just really difficult to love. They might have an annoying habit that grates our nerves. Or maybe they have a negative attitude all the time, or are never respectful of our time or space. Whatever reason you have for considering that person difficult, here are a few tips on how to love them anyway.

Remember your own faults

None of us like to admit that we are probably difficult to love in some way. Maybe we have our own annoying habits that gets on other people’s nerves. We all have our “unloveable ” moments, so when you are in that situation with your difficult person, take a breath and remember that you have your own moments of difficulty.

Try to understand their back story

Everyone has a back story, no one became who they are today overnight. If your difficult person isn’t all that close to you, try to find out where they come from. Did they have a difficult childhood? Did they just go through a painful divorce? Do they suffer from a mental health condition? Knowing more about what you are dealing with can help you navigate the best way to love that person, through the difficulty.

Speak up

Sometimes people do things that annoy us, and they never know about it, because we are too polite to say anything. If someone is doing something that is disrespectful or annoying, say something. It doesn’t have to be a fight, you can lovingly say “Listen, I love spending time with you, and I need you to know that when you do ______________ (insert annoying thing here) it really makes me feel disrespected”.

Make a choice

This sounds so simple, but often we don’t make the choice to love someone. We let them earn love, by being beneficial to us in some way, however love shouldn’t have to be earned. It is a gift best freely given. So in those moments of difficulty, take a moment and decide to love them anyway. Think about it, you want to be loved through your difficulty, so choose to love your difficult person through all the mess.

3 Important Tips For Building A Blended Family

blended family

Merging families is tough work. My husband recently found himself the stepfather of two boys, and the parenting learning curve was steep for him. The US census reports that around 1300 new step-families are forming each day. If you find yourself in a blended family situation maybe some of these tips can help you out.

1. People don’t blend:

I personally am not a fan of the name “blended family”, as it implies you can throw a bunch of people together, blend them up and make a polished finished product. This is almost never true, outside of television and movies. It’s important to recognize that there may not be a perfect finished product right after the vows are spoken, because people aren’t fruit you can throw in a blender. People need time, forgiveness, and patience to learn to adapt in a new family situation.

A better analogy, one used in Ron L. Deal’s book “The Smart Step-Family” is that of a slow-cooker. A slow cooker doesn’t immediately take apart the attributes of one ingredient and put it with those of another, it allows time to mix the different flavors of the ingredients into one dish, while still retaining the separate ingredients’ own character and flavors. Let your family be individuals, celebrate them for who they are, and don’t expect them to lose that to be part of a new family.

2. Parents parent, Step-Parents support:

This may be hard to take in at first, but if parenting standards aren’t set by the biological parent of a child, then you can set yourself up for disaster. Step-parents should support the parent’s decision, even when they disagree, and disagreements should be discussed privately, to present a unified parenting team in front of kids. It’s hard to come into a parenting situation as an outsider, especially because every parent/child relationship has flaws. Remember, relationships aren’t created in a day, and parent/child relationships won’t change overnight, even if you have the best ideas on how to change them.

3. Patience is Key

As with the slow cooker analogy, patience is the key to a successful step-family. Studies show that it takes an average of 7 years for a family to hit the “honeymoon” stage most couples experience when they start out in marriage. Have realistic expectations, if your family finds that sweet spot earlier, celebrate! If not, just keep working at it, remembering that people, especially family, are always worth the wait.

 

Reblogged from inspiringnuggets.com

Simple Tips to Loving People No Matter How Difficult

2_2

 

We all have those people in our lives. The ones who are just really difficult to love. They might have an annoying habit that grates our nerves. Or maybe they have a negative attitude all the time, or are never respectful of our time or space. Whatever reason you have for considering that person difficult, here are a few tips on how to love them anyway.

Remember your own faults

None of us like to admit that we are probably difficult to love in some way. Maybe we have our own annoying habits that grate on other people’s nerves. We all have our unloveable moments, so when you are in that situation with your difficult person, take a breath and remember that you have your own moments of difficulty.

Try to understand their back story

Everyone has a back story, no one became who they are today overnight. If your difficult person isn’t all that close to you, try to find out where they come from. Did they have a difficult childhood? Did they just go through a painful divorce? Do they suffer from a mental health condition? Knowing more about what you are dealing with can help you navigate the best way to love that person, through the difficulty.

Speak up

Sometimes people do things that annoy us, and they never know about it, because we are too polite to say anything. If someone is doing something that is disrespectful or annoying, say something. It doesn’t have to be a fight, you can lovingly say “Listen, I love spending time with you, and I need you to know that when you do ______________ (insert annoying thing here) it really makes me feel disrespected”.

Make a choice

This sounds so simple, but often we don’t make the choice to love someone. We let them earn love, by being beneficial to us in some way, however love shouldn’t have to be earned. It is a gift best freely given. So in those moments of difficulty, take a moment and decide to love them anyway. Think about it, you want to be loved through your difficulty, so choose to love your difficult person through all the mess.

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