7 Dating Etiquette Tips For Women

Blissful romantic young couple

Manners have become something we are rapidly losing in our public spheres, and dating is a place where they should absolutely be used. Be ready on time, being fashionably late is not fashionable, it is rude and disrespectful of other’s time. If you are worth the wait, you are also worth spending the 20 minutes with that he had to sit wondering what was taking so long. Also, be courteous, not just to him but to those you encounter while you are out, valets, servers, box office employees and everyone else. Being polite costs you nothing, and might remind both your date and those you encounter that you might just be the best of the good that’s left in the world.

 

1. Respect yourself, and your date: Don’t degrade yourself so he’ll compliment you. We’ve been taught that we should be praised for many things, especially our appearance. If he compliments the dress you spent hours picking out, great, but if not, don’t go fishing for that compliment. You will find that you may be more engaged in conversation, if you aren’t constantly waiting to be told how wonderful you are. In the same way respect your date, say thank you for kind gestures, and compliment things that are genuinely deserving of compliments, but don’t feel the need to praise everything he does either.

 

 

2. Be prepared to pay: As women, we harp on pay inequality in the workforce, and then expect to have meals, tickets, and all other entertainment venues paid for by our dates. If we want to be paid equally, we should also offer to pay for ourselves on dates. After all, why do you want to go out with him? To enjoy his company, or have your meal paid for? If it’s the latter, you may be dating for the wrong reasons. Offer to pay, at least for yourself, but don’t argue if the offer is declined Remember offering = polite, but arguing = annoying.

 

3. Keep a positive attitude: Remember that just because he suggested a restaurant, he can’t cook the food and sit and talk to you at the same time. So if the food it’s not your favorite, keep those comments to yourself. If you are nervous about anything on a date, he probably is too, and a positive attitude will go a long way to helping calm everyone’s nerves.

 

4. Listen with an intent to understand: In many areas of our lives we listen with intent to respond. We are already formulating our response to what the other person is saying before they are finished that we don’t truly listen. So be a good listener. Ask questions to clarify things you don’t understand, and offer comments that genuinely contribute to the conversation.

 

5. Talk, and be comfortable with silence. There’s nothing worse than trying to pry words out of someone who doesn’t seem to have anything to say, unless it’s the person who seems to want to fill every available moment with inane chatter. Talk about things that make you happy, subjects on which you are knowledgeable and have a passion, and when the silence comes, let it pass. Not every moment needs to be filled with conversation, especially if you don’t want your food to get cold!

6. Mind your manners

Speaking of letting your crazy show, it’s probably best to just leave that beast at home watching Netflix. If you find out, in the course of casual date conversation, that your date is a fanatical Lord of the Rings fan, then please feel free to tell him about how you can quote whole passages from your favorite chapter. However, without that information you might just want to mention some of your favorite books. Bringing up your perfectly harmless obsessions on a date can be scary to someone who doesn’t share your affinity for collecting salt and pepper shakers from Amish markets. If a relationship grows out of a date, he’ll learn to love your particular brand of crazy, and you’ll learn to love his. But maybe a date isn’t the place to learn that love.

 

7. Leave the crazy at home

Just admit it, we’ve all done it. We scrolled through his profile, his friend lists, and we looked through all of those photos that might have been an old girlfriend. Nothing good comes from this. He is not with those women, he’s on a date with you. You don’t need to drag his past on your date, any more than you want your past front and center either. Also, by not social media stalking, you can avoid letting your crazy show by inadvertently mentioning the girl he was so cozy with at his nephew’s baptism. By the way, it was his sister. Don’t stalk him on social media.

You know what it is, that thing that distracts you from the person sitting in front of you. For some people it’s a phone, but now, with all of the new gadgets that help us keep in touch, smart watches, fitness trackers and the like, we have even more ways to distance us from the people with whom we are physically sharing space. So turn it off, put it away, and spend some real-time with a real person. No one wants to feel like you’d rather be with someone else, especially if that someone is inside a phone.

Happy dating!

 

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Sara Galyon

Sara is a writer, youth minister, wife, mother and underfunded world traveler. She has two boys, a fellow youth minister husband, and a passion for sharing ways that just might make someone's life better.

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