Monthly Archives: June 2016

How To Move Past Your Pain

Young girl in a white sweater drinking tea with lemon

Have you ever suffered loss and words cannot adequately describe your pain?

You feel alone even though there are so many people around trying to support you…

You feel alone because no one else can feel your pain or can relieve you…

There are some moments in life that you go through certain situations and you wonder how to deal with it.

I lost my father two years ago (6/19/14). His passing  was the most painful experience I have ever had. There were times I asked myself if I could ever get over it.

At the time getting over the pain looked impossible…but I did. There were important lessons learnt in the process and I will love to share. I hope someone finds it useful.

1. Decide to move on. There was a point after my loss that I knew I had to make a choice. It was the same week my father died , the pain was real and I was grief-stricken. I made a decision to move past the pain, I absolutely had no idea how but made the decision anyway. Looking back today, I realized that was the most important decision I made.

2. Reach out for help:  Once a decision to move on is made, ask God for help. More than ever before I appreciated the privilege I have to call God my father and the ability to lean on him for strength.  It is  important to express your emotions, don’t suppress it, cry if you need to. While it okay to express yourself it is absolutely crucial to reach out to God for help. One thing I found extremely valuable was spending time praying and asking God to heal my broken heart. I regained emotional strength with every passing day and you can too.
3. Focusing on the beautiful memories we created together when he was alive was quite refreshing. Talking and laughing about the fun times assisted the healing process. This was a perspective my counseling pastor gave me and it helped me tremendously.

My goal with this post is to encourage anyone experiencing grief. God heals and comforts like no one else can. Reach out to him and allow him to soothe your wounds.

 

Time to Soar!

image by BN Singh

It is time to soar!

Look at yourself in a mirror and declare “…it is time for me to spread my wings like the eagle and soar!”

 

A young child has many influences in his life. Parents and family members encouraging and speaking into him builds confidence in him, in most cases this child grows up believing in himself, growing a strong self-esteem.

Some are not as fortunate, raised in an abusive environment  they struggle to find an identity in life.

Irrespective of your family situation, life experiences or  upbringing, the moment you make decision to move up in life things begin to change.

The first step is deciding in your heart that the time to soar is now. Believe you can and things will start aligning your way to make it happen. Ideas on things to do, or resources to look for will begin to cross your mind.

 

My objective with this post is to encourage you to make the second half of this year an amazing one.

It does not matter the limitation you may have faced in the first half.

Move past the mistakes or failure of the past (learn from them though).

The future ahead of you is bright, and you have all it takes to achieve all that you have purposed to accomplish. Don’t let anything hold you back

People might have talked down on you, your family may have given up on you, sad as that might be…it does not determine how far you will get in life.

The most important thing is that you do not give up on yourself, decide today to take things to the next level.

Look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself “everything I need to make it to the top is in me!”

Create a habit of encouraging yourself and building yourself confidence.

Stay away from people who talk you down and start surrounding yourself with positive and inspiring people.

Continue to invest in yourself.

Let everyday move you closer to your dreams! #Thebestisyettocome!

 

Photo credits: image by BN Singh

How to Create Opportunities You Desire

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There are times in life when a seemingly perfect opportunity presents itself and it is not even perceived as an opportunity until it is long gone. You may have heard people say:   “Once  the right opportunity to present itself and I will return to college or start a business. Should we really wait for opportunities? This may be a coincidence but opportunities seem to present itself to people who are actively doing something not those waiting. To create the opportunities you desire, these two tips are important:

1. Change the way you think: It all starts with your perceptions, think possibilities, see possibilities and you will change what happens around you.

Think about this scenario:

A young man, Shawn, who dropped out of high school seven years ago,  recently got laid off his job. He has no technical skills whatsoever, and has had difficulty getting jobs from time to time. He is frustrated about looking for jobs almost every 8 months but does not know what to do.

Shawn can sit down and think about all the frustrations in his life right now and the ones he endured in the past. He could even take it further by looking for people in his life that could be held responsible for his current predicament. This thought pattern may lead to bitterness and resentment among other things. One thing is certain, this thought pattern will not lead him out of his current predicament.

Alternatively, he can decide to think of the possibility of a bright future, not limited by his past pain or misfortune but shaped by his determination to succeed. Taking responsibility for his life and determined to make a change, he can start engaging in activities that will add value to him.  Taking the right steps out of the problem starts by changing the way he thinks. Thinking more about what can be done with what you have rather than focus on what was done or not done in the past.

2. Change what you say: as simple as this sounds, it is very powerful. Our words create our reality. Instead of speaking defeating words that will dampen your morale, stand up and declare what you desire for your life! These positive declarations will energize you and beyond that shape your future.

What opportunities do you desire? Start creating those opportunities today by changing the way you think about the situation and what you say about it.

The Power Of Perseverance

 

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One story that captures the power of perseverance was the one that unfolded before our eyes as Hillary Clinton clinched the nomination for the Democratic party.

To every woman in America or any nation of the earth a clear statement was made: “you can become whoever you choose to become, your gender is not a limitation.

The victory we all witnessed last night told us a few things about Hillary and the ones that stood out to me are listed below.

Believe: Hillary believed in herself and the potential in her. She chose to see beyond the limitations around, and chose to dream big. Even though her efforts in 2008 was not successful, her believe in herself and her dream did not dwindle. She did what several years ago was unthinkable. I am sure when she started her journey some may have tried to talk her out of it. People may have told her it cannot be done. She believed she could, she worked hard at it  and the success is obvious for all to see.

“Don’t wait for people to approve of your dreams before you start working on it. You might wait forever.”- Bola O.

 

Perseverance: When I heard Hillary was joining the race last year, one word came to mind, perseverance. When she conceded to President Obama in 2008, I remember her speech saying the “…even though the glass ceiling was not shattered, she made millions of cracks in it.” In my mind I thought she is back to shatter the glass ceiling completely and she did.

Irrespective of how this political race ends, she has made history, inspired millions and set higher standards for generations to come.

Irrespective of your race, gender, color or creed, you can become whoever you desire to become. Have the audacity to dream big, believe in yourself,  work hard and you will see those dreams come true.

“Believe in yourself, believe in your dreams and most importantly believe in God” – Bola O.